Ever listen to two people argue? There’s not much true understanding going on. Whatever passes for “listening” is often followed by “Yes, but …” with no real acknowledgment of what’s just been said.

I was reminded of this the other day while visiting someone’s office. Two people were engaged in a low-key verbal sparring match. It wasn’t loud, but neither party was listening to the other, and it bordered on intense. I wondered to myself, “do they really think this is increasing productivity? Who wants to work having to listen to that?”

Fact is, some folks never really learn how to argue effectively.

Arguing effectively

The term “argue” really means to present clearly one’s perspective; to provide proof or evidence  — it does not mean a fight or a yelling match. It does not mean we should insist that we’re right and the other person is wrong. As mature adults, we have the ability to listen and understand another person’s point of view; even if we don’t agree with it.

Make that the goal of your “argument,” and you’ll find your arguments are much more productive.

DANGER

Dilemma! Truly considering someone else’s perspective is dangerous!  (Especially if we’re discussing an emotional issue.)

If we truly listen and understand what another person is saying, the possibility exists that what we hear will actually makes sense. But if it’s counter to our own position, we’d have to acknowledge our original position was insufficient. That can be dangerous to some people – especially to someone who’s sense of self-worth is pretty thin and cannot admit error.

My point is this: Arguing (making a case for your perspective) without understanding the other perspective is non-productive.

So think about your workplace … how do people “argue” there?  What does it do for productivity?

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Filed in Work, Management, Teambuilding, Workplace, Corporate Culture