March 27, 6:50 am
What’s with the inability to apologize?
Scenario number one: Yesterday my wife took a flat rate United States Postal Service Express Mail box into one of these franchised mailing centers. Flat rate boxes at this store are mailed for $10.10, no matter how much they weigh. The young woman behind the counter weighs the package, rings it up in the register and asks for $30.60. My wife says “I don’t think so, every time I come here I get charged $10.10 for mailing this type of box. See, right here on the box it says flat rate.”
The young woman behind the counter gets insistent. “It will be $30.60 please.”
“But the young man who works here on most mornings always charges me $10.10.”
“He doesn’t know what he’s doing,” she says. After the conversation gets a little tense, the young woman calls her boss. A minute later she hangs up the phone, turns around, voids the $30.60 sale, and asks for $10.10.
No apology. No nothing.
Scenario number two: A man takes his car to get the oil changed, and he’s told it will be two hours before the car is ready. He walks across the street to the shopping mall, kills some time, and returns two hours later. He’s told they fixed an excessive oil leak, a transmission leak, and changed the wiper blades in addition to the oil change. The man pays.
As he’s waiting for his car, another employee tells him that his car hasn’t even been serviced yet. Questions ensue. Excuses are made. Mechanics talk fast to cover their tracks, but again, no apologies.
What is with the inability to apologize?
There’s an old maxim that says one “aw shucks” wipes out ten “attaboys.” Maybe true. But one sincere apology usually wipes away most of the “aw shucks.” In some cases it can totally clean the slate.
A hotel manager I know tells me that her use of sincere apologies has often turned potentially terrible situations into positive ones, with the customer leaving in a good mood and feeling valued.
At the core of it, that’s what matters. People, be they employees or customers, want to be respected and valued. When a wrong has occurred, sincere apologies done right will tell the offended person that they have a right to feel the way they do. That’s all most folks are looking for – someone that’s offended them to acknowledge the offense.
Organizations practicing workplace excellence recognize the value of a sincere apology. Those businesses that don’t care, well, their reputations get soiled pretty fast.
Filed in Work, Business, Opinion, Training, Management, Leadership, Team Building
I was engaged to a guy who couldn’t apologize.
It was really hurting me, as I realized he was showing a lack of respect. What implications would this virtual “objectification” of me have for the future?
He once made me sob for an hour for failing to be “supportive enough” in his quitting smoking. I apologized for my seeming lack of support.
He couldn’t bring himself to apologize for his making me sob for an hour.
I hired a courier and returned my engagement ring to him. Without apology. I never spoke to him again.
Five years later he was in jail for domestic abuse of his wife.
Oh, this is a really a nice article.
Yeah, right! what is with the inability to apologize? Apology that is from the heart brings down the grief.
Maybe these people dont value much their work and self. The customer will leave the place unhappy,
having a heavy load on their face and a troubled heart.
Oh, poor man! To apologize is very easy thing. Just take heart. To apologize doesn’t take us less than a man!