January 11, 4:20 am
Workplace conflict can still be respectful
In my upbringing I was taught a fairly common saying: “Respect my elders.” Over the years, I’ve placed many question marks around the wisdom of that teaching. Reason: Sometimes we experience workplace conflict in which our “elders” aren’t necessary acting in a manner that earns respect.
However, now that I’m pushing the ½-century mark, I think I’d like to offer a revision to that fairly common saying: “Demonstrate respect to people, period.” This doesn’t mean we bow down and acquiesce to everyone. It simply means to be respectful.
To me, demonstrating respecting to people is just a common courtesy. It means being polite, not rude or sarcastic, even if we disagree with them.
Like I said, just because someone is older than us it doesn’t mean the person is more mature or has more wisdom. Perhaps you’ve heard the following quote:
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
But like I said, even if we disagree with someone, we can do it without sarcasm or insults.
Filed in Work, Management, Workplace, Meetings, Corporate Culture
Dan - you make some great points in your post. IMO healthy conflict in the workplace is essential to keep an organization and its culture from going stagnant.
Often times I find that conflict boils up from differing communication styles and generations in the workplace. A comment that might come off as completely innocent, can well be insulting to another communication style and create the “wrong” kind of conflict.
With my clients I recommend the DISC behavioral assessment to raise team awareness of the various communication/behavioral styles in a team to reduce “bad” conflict.
Above all, you couldn’t be more right on Dan, demonstrating respect is a common courtesy in the workplace, and there is no place for sarcasm or insults.
Chris,
Good reminder on the DISC. I, too, have been using it with clients for more than a decade to help them see the strengths of the different styles out there — and move from ‘tension’ to open, or healthy, conflict.
I believe it Patrick Lencioni in Five Dysfunctions of a Team who emphasized that conflict is good, it’s tension that’s bad.
And you’re also spot on re: the generational differences. Seven or eight years ago I had a young 20-something working for me. One day when some of us in the office were acting a bit silly she called me a ‘dork.’ I took the comment as one of disrepect. However, later conversation with others in her age group said no disrespect was intended. It was, (at the time, anyway) a form of expressing herself as feeling comfortable as part of the team.
Respecting those above you is an excellent way to gain favor in a business. You don’t need to default to their wishes, but rather respect them even if they are wrong. Who wouldn’t like you?