Creating Passion-Driven Teams

The Relationship Ladder


The listening and conflict resolution tool!


"People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."  


Steps 1 and 2 are excellent "active listening" skills. 


For conflict resolution, use all five step in order. 


1. Focus on the other person

Focus totally on the other person's thoughts and feelings

Try to sense his/her feelings, or see the picture that the person

     is seeing in his/her head

Think of a word or phrase that summarizes the essence of

     what the other person is thinking/feeling


2. Seek confirmation on what you "understand"

Inquire if what you percieved in Step 1 is correct

If it's not, ask the person to clarify

Know that you don't have to agree:

   "Understand" does not mean "Agree"

If you disagree, remain objective
   (refrain from judgmental body language or voice tone)


3. Look for trust

Observe for physical indicators the person is feeling heard.


- Shoulders drop

- Person sits down

- Person sits back

- Person breathes slower

- Voice volume drops

Any indicator is good, more is better. Wait for trust before proceding.


4. Gently discover the truth

Ask questions about what really happened

(it's best if truth is discovered instead of lectured)

Remain free of judgement. 

First understand the other person's version of truth, then offer yours

Do not try to SOVLE anything just yet.  Just clarify the issue. 


5. Establish hope

Ask what the other person would like see for a solution

If amenable, agree to the solution.  Set follow up dates if needed. 

If not amenable: 

Stay focused on a mutually beneficial goal 

Continue to entertain suggestions and offer alternatives until 

a solution is moving forward is reached. 


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