Creating Passion-Driven Teams
The Relationship Ladder
The listening and conflict resolution tool!
"People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."
Steps 1 and 2 are excellent "active listening" skills.
For conflict resolution, use all five step in order.
1. Focus on the other person
Focus totally on the other person's thoughts and feelings
Try to sense his/her feelings, or see the picture that the person
is seeing in his/her head
Think of a word or phrase that summarizes the essence of
what the other person is thinking/feeling
2. Seek confirmation on what you "understand"
Inquire if what you percieved in Step 1 is correct
If it's not, ask the person to clarify
Know that you don't have to agree:
"Understand" does not mean "Agree"
If you disagree, remain objective
(refrain from judgmental body language or voice tone)
3. Look for trust
Observe for physical indicators the person is feeling heard.
- Shoulders drop
- Person sits down
- Person sits back
- Person breathes slower
- Voice volume drops
Any indicator is good, more is better. Wait for trust before proceding.
4. Gently discover the truth
Ask questions about what really happened
(it's best if truth is discovered instead of lectured)
Remain free of judgement.
First understand the other person's version of truth, then offer yours
Do not try to SOVLE anything just yet. Just clarify the issue.
5. Establish hope
Ask what the other person would like see for a solution
If amenable, agree to the solution. Set follow up dates if needed.
If not amenable:
Stay focused on a mutually beneficial goal
Continue to entertain suggestions and offer alternatives until
a solution is moving forward is reached.